There are a lot of examples that I could use to illustrate this but tonight let's review my long, LONG relationship with UTA.
There are two sides to my relationship with the frontrunner, both outlined as follows:
1. General timing/Reliability
The UTA website advertises that the ride from Provo to Salt Lake is exactly one hour. Man, I wish I had a dollar for every time that didn't happen. I would be able to pay my monthly rent with that kind of income!
My maiden voyage on the the great ship frontrunner didn't start until 2 hours after it was "scheduled" to depart. In that particular instance the train had "slipped" off the track at some point between Ogden and Salt Lake. I still don't know what to think about that? How exactly does a train simply "slip" of the track? And what pray tell was the conductor doing to elicit such a response from the train? You know, the more I don't know the better.
"whoops....It just sort of slipped..."
On another late night ride home from Provo we had gotten all the way to the Murray station without a mishap. That is the station right before Salt Lake Central. I began to breathe easy thinking I had made it home. Well, this is where that cosmic hilarious energy comes in. We pulled into the Murray station. About 10 minutes later after having waited at a standstill the conductor announced that, "some {random train part} has gone missing. We will not be able to proceed until the situation is rectified, and no. You may not leave the train." We then waited for the elusive train mechanism to appear. Unfortunately no magic bottles were rubbed, no engineering genies appeared, and no part was replaced. Our immobile train was then pulled into Salt Lake by another train rounding the trip off to an even 2 hours.
The last "delay" of note would be what I like to call "Loco with a motive." Get it? Locomotive? Anyway... I was on my way down to play in a concert in Provo when we heard a huge and awful grating sound. The engine sputtered, then totally gave up and proceeded to expel large clouds of grey smoke. I was sitting next to a nice looking nurse. We both groaned, clearly in mutual understanding of the commonality of such frontrunner "jokes." Eventually, we were informed that "the train had hit a snag on the tracks." I suppose the announcements are made so vaguely as to keep rioters at bay however after two hours of waiting, unable to leave the train and multiple groups of police officers arriving at the scene, the nurse and I seriously began to question the nature of our "snag."
2. Special Souls
The other wonderful aspect of train riding is the company that joins you on any given escapade. This deserves a category of its own but to spare the length of this post I will only relay two.Tonight when I was ridding home I had to sit next to a man in an oversized hoodie that may have once been white but the color was now questionable. He was very still until the train started moving. He then immediately reveled what can only really be called talons. He had VERY long finger nails which he then used to scratch his dreadlock covered scalp. I wasn't fully disturbed until the moment he produced a special comb rifle through each hair piece. By the time he started examining the contents I had to move seats.
Perhaps my all time favorite story I like to call "A Man and his Machete: the ultimate bond." I was riding in the lower level of the car casually listening to music. A commotion arose in the row beside me. It turns out that a very drunk man was threatening the train host. He then brandished a rather large Machete. He was immediately contained by the transit police.
Oh frontrunner, I never know what absurd predicament you will put me in, but I ride you all the same.
Till next time.
-1.JPG)
